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Tiny Wisdom: On Asking for Help
“It’s not the load that breaks you down; it’s the way you carry it.” -Lena Horne
We often think that admitting struggle is a sign of weakness, but we all struggle sometimes. We all get overwhelmed sometimes. We all need help sometimes. Acknowledging this is not a sign of weakness, but struggling alone is a choice to grow weak.
We all need each other. No one is an island. The good news is that people really do care. Think about it. If someone you know was hurting, would you offer your support? If someone you know got into a tough situation, would you help them find a solution? You’d probably want them to come to you–to know that you care and they can trust and depend on you.
Why not give them the opportunity to do the same for you? Why push yourself to your breaking point when there are people who’d be honored to help lighten your load?
If you’re carrying more than you can handle today, choose to let some of it go by letting someone else in. You may feel vulnerable asking for help, but wouldn’t the world be a better place if we all learned to depend on each other?
By Lori Deschene
Helpline Numbers
The NHS Direct
TELEPHONE: 111
OPEN: 24HRS a day, 7 days a week, 365 days of the year.
The Samaritans
TELEPHONE: 08457 90 90 90
OPEN: 24 Hours a day
EMAIL: jo@samaritans.org
Saneline
TELEPHONE: 0845 767 8000
OPEN: 6pm – 11pm 7 days a week
London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard
TELEPHONE 0300 330 0630 OPEN: 10-11pm or email help chris@llgs.org.uk
Supportline
TELEPHONE: 01708 765200
Suicide Prevention Lifeline
TELEPHONE: 1-800-273-TALK
If you are feeling suicidal, you should speak to your Doctor or you can also go to your local Hospital A&E Department.
UK 24 -hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline 0808 2000 247
Survivors – United Kingdom
Rape Crisis – England and Wales
CRASAC – Working with survivors of sexual violence & abuse
RSVP – Rape & Sexual Violence Project
Havoca - Help for adult victims of child abuse
Ethnic Survivors Forum - Offers a full range of support services for minority ethnic adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse
The Survivors Trust - We believe that all survivors are entitled to receive the best possible response to their needs whether or not they choose to report.
NSPCC - National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children
One in Four UK - Support for survivors of Sexual Abuse
TASC - We provide a UK web-
The Moira Anderson Foundation - Dedicated to supporting those affected by Sexual Abuse
Aurora Health Foundation - Specialist Therapy Centre
Into the Light - Support Information and Resources for Survivors and those that support them
Positive Change Arts Project - London
Survivors in Transistion - Ipswich
PARCS - PARCS is an organisation based within Portsmouth City that works with people who have been sexually violated at any time in their lives no matter how long ago.
The NEXUS Institute - Based in Belfast for Survivors
isas - Incest and Sexual Abuse Survivors – Nottinghamshire
Safeline – Survivor to Survivor Support – Warwickshire and Coventry
Surviving Together - Norwich
Watford Rape Crisis – Rape Crisis & Sexual Abuse Helpline
SeVA – Sexual Violence Alliance
The Lantern Project - The Lantern Project was established in 2003 to provide help and support for survivors of sexual abuse
Breaking Free - Providing an opportunity for females over the age of 18, who have experienced any or all forms of trauma due to sexual abuse and rape; we provide the opportunity to heal wounds and to break free from victim to survivor, within a safe and trusted environment.
SAVANA – An organisation that offers support services and information to anyone who has encountered or experienced any form of sexual assault or violence at some point in their lives. Please contact us for information and support.
SV2 – Supporting anyone who has been a victim of any form of sexual violence
DABS - DABS Pathfinder is a signposting service that provides free support and information all over the U.K. and the republic of Ireland to anyone and any organisation regarding issues to do with childhood abuse, incest and sexual violence.
DABS BOOKS - DABS maintains a list of about 450 book titles and continually adds to the total with new publications as they appear.
Survivors – Overseas
RAINN - The nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization
Pandora’s Project - Survivor Support and Resources
Tell One Survivor - It’s time to tell SOMEONE, ANYONE and EVERYONE and understand that, as a survivor of sexual assault, there is life beyond the experience that is worth living.
Michael Skinner - Survivor & singer/songwriter
The Mama Bear Effect - The Mama Bear Effect is about people caring, uniting, learning, and taking action to protect children.
Soul Solutions By Rae Luskin
Survivor’s Manual - Inspiring and Supporting Survivors
Big Voice Pictures - Films that Transform
Darkness to Light - End Child Sexual Abuse – America
Operation Bobbi Bear - Helping abused children in South Africa
Support For Parents & Educating Children
Mosac – Supporting non-abusive parents and carers of abused children
Step Up – A support service for families where children have been sexually abused or raped
Family Lives - Family Lives is a national charity providing help and support in all aspects of family life
Matters to Me – Fantastic educational DVD and booklet on Child Safety
The Safety Network - Providing Information & Resources to help keep children safe
Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept - Fantastic Empowering/Educational Book for children
Child Watch - Prevention, Protection & Resources
Just Tell - Educating adults and children about CSA
Male Survivors
Survivors Manchester - Whatever you may be thinking and although you may feel it, we can guarantee 100% that you are not alone
Mankind Counselling - Support for men who have been sexually abused
Survivors UK - Understanding Male CSA & Rape
Male Survivors Trust – Adult Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse
John Mark Clubb – Male Survivor & Author
M Power – Supporting Male Survivors
1 in 6 - The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives.
Male Survivors Berkshire - We provide an information and support service for adult male survivors of sexual abuse and rape; their families, partners and anyone else supporting them.
Male Survivor Org - e are committed to preventing, healing, and eliminating all forms of sexual victimization of boys and men through support, treatment, research, education, advocacy, and activism
Be Safe 1st Always – Male Survivor & Author John Harrison
The Calm Zone – Exists to prevent male suicide in the UK
Mental Health Support
Young Minds - Young peoples mental health & well being
Hearing Voices Network - For people who hear voices, see visions or have other unusual perceptions
Help For Depression - Learn to cope with depression
Mind - For better mental health
Unveiling the stigma - Support Forums
P.T.S.D – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
PODS - Making recovery from Dissociative Disorders a reality
First Person Plural - First Person Plural is a small UK-wide membership charity led by volunteers who have lived-experience of dissociative identity disorder
See Me (Scotland) - ‘see me’ is Scotland’s national campaign to end the stigma and discrimination of mental ill-health
Anxiety Org UK - Anxiety UK works to relieve and support those living with anxiety disorders by providing information, support and understanding
Turn 2 Me – An online mental health community providing peer and professional support to people in distress
Leading Light - Leading Light offers help, support and guidance for people suffering with the effects of social anxiety, depression and related issues through various workshops, events, advice and many other avenues.
SANE - Removing Chains is your live chat support site offering hope, love and encouragement to hurting people globally
Aware.ie – Your Supporting Light Through Depression
OCD Action - We provide support and information to anybody affected by OCD
Addiction Help & Support
Free from Addiction Project - Supporting & Raising Awareness of Alcoholism
Adfam – Supporting Families affected by Drugs and Alcohol
My Route To Help - Drug Info & Addiction Help
Addaction - Our aim is to help transform the lives of people affected by drug and alcohol problems
FRANK - Friendly & Confidential Drugs Advice
Narcotics Anonymous – NA is a non profit fellowship or society of men and women for whom drugs had become a major problem.
Alcoholics Anonymous - Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism.
Al Anon – Provide support to anyone whose life is, or has been, affected by someone else’s drinking, regardless of whether that person is still drinking or not.
Domestic Violence Help & Support
White Ribbon Campaign - Men working to end violence to Women
The Freedom Programme – Dealing with male violence to women and children
Mens Advice Line – Advice & Support for men experiencing Domestic Violence
E.V.A.W - End Violence Against Women
Southall Black Sisters - Domestic Violence Help
Refuge - Domestic Violence Support
Eaves - Quality Housing and Support for vulnerable women based in London
Love shouldn’t Hurt You - Domestic Violence Awareness for young people
Splitz - Domestic Violence and Abuse Support
Broken Rainbow - National LGBT Domestic Violence Helpline
National Domestic Violence Helpline - 24-hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline 0808 2000 247
Online Support Forums & Groups
After Silence - Online Forum supporting survivors of sexual violence
Lori’s Song - Online Forum supporting survivors from all forms of abuse
Survivors of Abuse Related to Religion
MACSAS - Minster and Clergy Sexual Abuse Survivors
SNAP - Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests
The God Squad - Paddy Doyle
Bishop Accountability - Documenting the abuse in the Catholic Church
Stop Church Child Abuse - We have come together to investigate and highlight the serious safeguarding failures of church institutions, from 1954 to the present
Towards Healing - is a new counselling and support service for survivors of Institutional, Clerical and Religious abuse, funded by the Catholic Church
Ritual Abuse Help & Support
Izzy’s Promise - Working to end ritual abuse
R.A.N.S - Ritual abuse network scotland
Ritual Abuse Helpline (London) – Telephone Helpline Number & Information
Self Harm Help & Support
Recover your Life - Self Harm Support Forum
Lifecentre SUST – Support for unwanted sexual trauma
LifeSIGNS - LifeSIGNS is the user-led voluntary organisation raising awareness about self-injury
Self Injury Support - Bristol
Pieta House - A non-profit organisation that provides a free, specialised treatment programme for people who have suicidal thoughts or engage in self harm
No Secrets - No Secrets is a peer support group for anybody over 16 years of age who is affected directly or indirectly by self-injury
National Self Harm Network - Support individuals who self harm to reduce emotional distress and to improve their quality of life & much more
Abuse by Females Help & Support
Female Sex Offenders – Raising Awareness - Mother-Daughter/Son Abuse
Female Sex Offenders – Join the fight against sex crime
Making Daughters Safe Again – Supporting Survivors Abused By Mothers
Reporting Abuse/Legal Support/Compensation
Victim Support - Free & Confidential Help to Victims of Crime
The Childrens Legal Centre - Provides free legal information, advice and representation to children, their families and carers
Rights of Women - Works to attain justice and equality by informing, educating and empowering women on their legal rights.
AbuseLaw - We are a team of solicitors and ancillary staff who are committed to helping the victims of abuse claim their legal rights and find whatever legal remedies are available to them.
Its My Decision – A step by step guide for rape and sexual assault victims
Criminal Injuries Compensation - Before you apply for an award you need to know if you are eligible and what type of an award and/or payment to apply for.
Association of Child Abuse Lawyers – An association set up for the benefit of victims, lawyers, experts and other professionals involved in the field of obtaining compensation for the physical, sexual or emotional abuse of children and adults abused in childhood
Survivor Author Sites & Blogs
Specific Resources for Teens
Eighteen and Under - Support & Information for anyone under 18 suffering abuse
Teen Issues – Discussing the problems teens face
Mermaids – Support for children & teens with gender identity issues
Teen Pregnancy – Advice, Support & Information
The Site – Covering a wide range of topics concerning young people
Bullying UK - Detailed advice on a range of problems including Cyberbullying and outside school
Tender – Exploring Healthy Relationships
R U Thinking – About Sex & Relationships
Papyrus - A National UK charity dedicated to the prevention of young suicide
FRANK – Friendly & Confidential Drugs Advice
Kidscape - Anti Bullying Advice
Face Up To It - Fighting Child Exploitation
Anxiety In Teens - Mission: helping youth with mental illness & their families get information, inspiration and community through online presence and offline events featuring education, refuge and connection.
LBGT Support
Broken Rainbow - National LGBT Domestic Violence Helpline
Stonewall – Working for equality and justice for lesbians, gay men and bisexuals.
Galop – Making life safe, just and fair for lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans people
Eating Disorders
Beat - Beat provides helplines, online support and a network of UK-wide self-help groups to help adults and young people in the UK beat their eating disorders
Men Get Eating Disorders Too – An award winning national charity dedicated to representing and supporting the needs of men with eating disorders.
Religious Resources/Support
Churches Child Protection Advisory Service - We exist to safeguard both children and vulnerable adults throughout the UK. We also work to help those throughout the UK who are, or have been, affected by child abuse and similar issues.
Lucy Faithfull Foundation - LFF works with different faith communities to help them safeguard children and manage abusive behaviours.
Campaigns
Stop It Now - Stop it Now! UK and Ireland is a child sexual abuse prevention campaign
The Mama Bear Effect - The Mama Bear Effect is about people caring, uniting, learning, and taking action to protect children
Innocence Revolution – A Global Day to End Child Sexual Abuse
Erin Merryn - Author, Activist, Speaker, and force behind Erin’s Law
Little Warriors - Little Warriors is a national charitable organization, based in Canada, focusing on the education and prevention of child sexual abuse
Suicide Prevention/Help
Stamp Out Suicide – Positive Steps Forward in Suicide Prevention
Papyrus - A National UK charity dedicated to the prevention of young suicide
Samaritans – If something’s troubling you, then get in touch… We’re here 24 hours a day, 365 days a year
Pieta House - A non-profit organisation that provides a free, specialised treatment programme for people who have suicidal thoughts or engage in self harm
National Suicide Prevention - No matter what problems you are dealing with, we want to help you find a reason to keep living
The Calm Zone - Exists to prevent male suicide in the UK
Specific Support for Survivors with Learning Disabilities
Cornerstone - We have two funded projects that work along side each other to provide support to individuals who have a learning disability and who may have experienced sexual abuse.
Ann Craft Trust - Please explore our website to find out what you can do to help protect the more vulnerable members of our society.
RESPOND - We aim to make a real difference to people with learning disabilities by providing effective and flexible support to help them to improve their lives.
Enable - We campaign for a better life for children and adults who have learning disabilities, We support people who have learning disabilities and their families to live, work and take part in their communities.
Survivors of Abuse in Care
In Care Survivors – A partnership led by Open Secret, is a support service for adults who suffered childhood abuse in care and their families
Action for Children – If your childhood experiences in the care of Action for Children were painful, traumatic or unhappy, we have services available to help you.
Survivors of Sex Trafficking
Human Trafficking Org – Empowerment Through Knowledge
Polaris Project – Committed to combating human trafficking and modern-day slavery, and to strengthening the anti-trafficking movement through a comprehensive approach.
Love 146 – Works toward the abolition of child sex slavery and exploitation in Europe
For The Sake Of One – -Christian- non- profit organization, whose mission is to prevent, rescue and heal children involved in domestic child sex trafficking
Two Little Girls - The Two Little Girls is a three minute animated film spearheading an anti sex-trafficking campaign in East Europe
Counselling/Therapy
BACP - The British Association for Counselling
Support for Partners/Loved Ones of Survivors
Support For Partners - Is here to help provide some support for partners of those who have been sexually abused as children, provide resources to develop skills that help partners in their relationships, and provide information about abuse and its effects.
For Friends, Family & Partners
How to Help Your Partner Cope With Male Sexual Abuse
Information for Partners & Loved Ones