I am not a parent, these are just my own thoughts about children, parenting and other issues surrounding children…Kate

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Ten teeny fingers & ten tiny toes
Little rose cheeks & a cute button nose
Two teeny hands & two tiny feet
All pink & girly, all sugary sweet
Eyes full of wonder, everything new
But nothing is so precious as teeny tiny you.

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I’d be the one

Talking and singing to you my bump
I’d be the one
…Shopping like crazy and making everything perfect
I’d be the one
Worrying & hoping that I’d be everything you need
I’d be the one
Taking a zillion photographs & showing you off to the world
I’d be the one
Sitting watching you sleep and wanting to kiss your cheek
I’d be the one
Holding you up to show you the moon and the stars
I’d be the one
Teaching you right from wrong with love not fear
I’d be the one
Making you feel wanted, cherished and special
I’d be the one
Protecting you like a lion with a new born cub
I’d be the one
Showing you all that is great and good
I’d be the one
Shielding you from the bad and the ugly as long as possible
I’d be the one
Loving you with every ounce of my being that would be me…
Your mum.

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I love you freely, not for what you do or bring
I love you more than anything
I will wrap you in my arms this night
Your pain I share and your delight
In my eyes you are everything to me
Even when you are all grown up, your my child eternally
You will never make a mistake big enough to separate me from you
I will be your loudest cheerleader in all you want to do
I am proud to be your mum, to call you mine
I loved you since the day you were born
And I will love you for all time.

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My world is not as yours when I wake in the morning
My day is ready for fun, activity, learning, new possibility dawning
I do not understand if you are troubled, busy or tired out
Mummy therefore please try not to burden me or shout
My shoulders are small, not big enough to carry your concern
I need you to be consistent with me, I just want to play and learn
I don’t mean to thwart your plans or make you mad
I am just making the chore a game, don’t tell me I am bad
Your shouting is a big loud noise that I really don’t like to hear
Talk, explain, reason with me, don’t rule me with fear
Sometimes I make a picture, I feel so proud showing it to you
I need you to tell me it is wonderful, after all its the best I can do
Though I am small in years and small in size
I will remember so many of the things before my eyes
So mummy will you create for me a memory box that is kind
A nurturing happy childhood for the memory that is my mind
So whilst I grow I have with me the skills to lead me on
A healthy sense of self to build me a future upon
For I am part of a crucial whole structure you see
Making it works means making a happy, healthy me.

( 2001)

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PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH

You need to love me that I can love others too
I need to be shown unconditional love from you
To be built up with words that are kind
To know I am important to you in heart and mind
To feel secure in your love and then my world is secure
To know that you are there for me, to be sure
To know I can have my mistakes ironed out
To be shown what give and take is all about
If you do not give what you expect back from me
I will be confused and unhappy
You are my teacher and I adore you, look for you to teach
Therefore you must ‘Practice what you preach’

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YOURS IS THE PRIVILEGE

You do not give your children your hang ups and your cares
You do not take away that innocent freedom that is theirs
They are in your care but they are not a copy of you
They are unique little people with lots of learning to do
Don’t tell them how to think, how to walk, how to run
Don’t crush a personality before it has begun
Hush all the noise and listen, you’ll find they have things to say
Admit you don’t know everything, they may know a better way
Laugh with them and not at them, suggest but do not criticise
Although they are small, they are not unwise
Take time to know what matters to them however small it seems
Let them have adventures and dream some wonderful dreams
Teach them how to say sorry but not with ridicule and shame
Let them have times of glory, let them have the fame
They can feel all the emotions that you feel inside
Therefore their capacity for joy and pain is equally as wide
If you give a little of yourself, they give a whole lot more
Their love is unconditional, they do not keep a score
If you have a child, what a privilege…
You have the ability to mould the adult of tomorrow and the
quality of life they can live.

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Where the is a child there is laughter
Where there is child abuse there are tears
Where these is a child there is sunshine
Where there is child abuse there is guilt and shame
Where there is a child there is sunshine
Where there is child abuse there is darkness
Where there is a child there is a precious gift
Where there is child abuse that gift is broken
A damaged child grows into a damaged adult…
Open your eyes to child abuse.

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There goes another brick for the prison you are building your child
Bricks of words you say when you’re angry and wild
They are building an invisible wall inside
A place where your child will go and hide
Slowly over time and brick by brick you build up this fate
The prison is not seen until its sometimes too late
Words of anger, ridicule or blame
Words of criticism and shame
This tiny child becomes imprisoned in chains
So easy to build up but so hard to break down again
What are you building for your child?

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Sticks and Stones…

Hey don’t talk to her in that way
Stop and listen, have you heard the things you say?
Do you know what those words mean to the child in front of you?
Do you know how deeply they can cut, the damage they can do
How dare you make her feel so bad
She is just a child, she didn’t mean to make you so mad
It is your responsibility to manage how you feel
Those things you say to her, she thinks are real
That she has failed you, that she is second best
That you love her less than the rest
She is just a little girl, don’t destroy her in that way
You don’t need to change the child…
You need to change what you say.

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The Secret Longing…

I always said I would never have a child of my own

Growing up, I always felt for the children already here and needing a home

Yet now there are times when I find myself aching to be a ‘mum’

Physically yearning to nurse and to nurture my own little one

I think about what I would and would not do

How I would want to make life so very precious and perfect for you

I find myself wondering what your personality would be

& I wonder if you would be like me

I want to cradle you in my arms and tell you how precious you are

For you would be my sun, my moon, my bright shining star

As time ticks by I wonder if you will ever come to be a part of my world

Or just some secret longed for dream a lonely old lady once held. (2012)

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