Standing on the outside, looking on the inside
Seeking a place to belong–for someone to right the wrongs
Left out in the empty cold, without a hand to hold

Aching, hurting, longing–wishing, hoping–yet knowing
That this is how it will always be–No one will ever want me
I’m not good enough for anyone, the damage has been done

Damaged in body and spirit, labelled a social misfit
Shaped by circumstances beyond my control–in my heart, a jagged hole

Crushed, hurt, bruised–Broken, bleeding, used
Struggling to rise above, yet daring not to trust in love
Trudging along, mile after weary mile, doing my best to wear a brave smile

Hiding the pain way down deep inside, Seeking a friend in whom to confide
Wondering why I ever was born, Dreading the night and praying for morn
Some days up and some days down, feeling as if I’ll surely drowned–
In the ache like none before–Don’t think I can stand anymore

Pushing my wings against my cocoon, but tiring and giving up too soon
Why struggle to burst free, when no one really cares to know me?
Round and round ’til the heartaches blend, When, oh, when will it ever end?

By Penny Smith

~

A little girl running up and down the hall,
with her mommy at the end to catch her when she falls.
Her mother’s warm embrace,
puts a smile upon her face.
You always knew her mother tried,
because the little girl always felt so good inside.
Blood, bruises, and tears
she suffered from so many fears.
She was always alone,
that thing called “love” she was never shown.
Her mom didn’t care,
and being neglected she had to bare.
She had to take the beatings,
and provide the feedings.
The dream of her mom being there for her,
was only a dream and she knew that’s all they were.
Dreams of love and happiness,
feelings of faith and tenderness.
They were nothing compared to reality,
Everything was left to technicality.
The things that seemed to come more true were her fears,
Things got SO much worse over the years.
It seems the more the girl’s heart was torn,
The more things she was left to mourn.
She was very much used,
and thanks to her mother she was very much abused.
She was molested and raped,
but her mom told the cops it was faked.
One man was walking on a thin line,
but ended up serving some time.
Locked up is where she wanted the other two to be,
due to lack of evidence and a non-believing mother they are still out there walking the streets.
The little girls mother hit her for the last time on that rainy day,
she decided that there was something that she had to say.
She was taken from her home,
and placed into a real home she had known.
The little girl screwed that up too,
she decided that there was something that she had to do.
She took a bunch of pills and drank a cup of bleach,
She thought there was a lesson to teach.
She ended up in and out of hospitals several times,
and a chance at true life was denied.
Girls would yell and shout,
because she acted out.
She always felt alienated and alone,
there had never been any love shown.
Her love and power came in the form of a knife,
there was a chance that the cuts could end her life.
Call me twisted and insane,
but I have a name.
Until you can say that you have walked in my shoes,
Don’t tell me that I have something to prove.
It may not be today or tomorrow,
but I will stop weeping in my own sorrow.
One day I will be the best,
but for now its up to you to assume the rest.

By Amber

~

FREEDOM

F- free to make my own choices in life.
R- rid all the evil from my life.
E- enjoy my life as it is now.
E- empty out the past and move forward.
D- devote myself to helping others.
O- only look at what Is important and walk away from the rest.
M- my life is worth fighting for

By Mary Denton

~

Please mum make it stop
Make the pictures go away
Help me to stop suffering
Listen to what I have to say

You just don’t understand
What seeing him does to me
You just don’t get it
How painful it is to see

Every time I see his face
Tears fall from my eyes
Like he’s touching me again mum
This really isn’t a lie

I’m scared and my heart beats faster
The images just won’t go
Take me out this place mum
Please don’t walk away, don’t go

Why don’t you believe me mum
I’m hurting can’t you see
I really need you mum
Please don’t turn your back on me

By Kt Lou

~

These hands and feet they are not mine
These legs and hips do not belong to me
The body which I occupy is strange and foreign
Betrayed by my own senses
Love feels like pain and pain like love
The wiring is all mixed up
Inside I’m still that little girl
Who sees the world with wonder and excitement
The smell of flowers put smile on my face
And touch of another sends me in to a darker place
I watch this body wither with time while screaming inside for something lost
The innocence and childhood that I never got a chance to know
I put a smile on for everyone to see
Inside I’m clawing at the walls
Will I ever get the chance to really be me or am I far too gone
Is the pain going to define me until the end of time
Or am I strong enough to break free
From all the cruel acts that turned my world upside down
Which robbed me of my trust and my ability to feel
I want the real me to come out but she’s just way too scared

By Inna Kurtser

~

Reaching out of my despair, to a place I know not where.
Just away from the muck, A little less stuck.
Starting again to grow, by watching the Oprah show.

How I relate to the given,
now I relate to the giver,
As I cry and shiver.

A little pain leaks out and goes away,
making me a little better today.
With a glimmer of hope,
comes less mope,
a little more cope.

In my heart a love grows,
From the Oprah love shows.
By Ward (Edward Schline)