Freedom

I miss running with the wind
Miss feeling the freedom running in my veins
Hate these walls
Hate these that are surrounding me
Cant move
Can’t breath
Feel like am in a prison of thoughts
Prison of land
Prison of death
that is killing me slowly
I no longer feel my heart beat
and when I do
it beats out of pain
out of hate
out of everything bad in the world
Where has my mind gone
Where has my soul gone
Have I lost them wit the prison of kindness
or with the prison of pain
I no longer feel
no longer see
no longer belong
no longer believe
I’m lost in the world of doubt, lose and prison
set me free
or I will die in the cage of thoughts with a broken heart

By Erica Muhan

~

One night under a harvest moon
a boy lay beside me, laughing like loon
invading my body, destroying my will
whilst rain danced on my windowsill.

I didn’t know, what he did to me
I was just a child, I was only three.
he whispered and threatened, he pushed and he hurt.
after I cried, I said no word.

I hid the blood and the pain and the shame.
I do sleep at night, I still like the rain.
I’m not a survivor
I don’t scream and shout
some pain goes so deep
you can’t say it out loud.

By Claudia

~

DEEP DOWN INSIDE

Why did you call me the names
that you did
I can still remember them all
Inside it really really hurt
but on the outside I was being tough bolshy
I was just a bereaved little kid

Why did you tell nobody
that your eldest son used to hurt me
I was so scared
It’s like you watched him do it
right in front of your eyes
He bruised me, sometimes he hit
why did you not tell anybody the truth

Simply put in a nutshell
I missed my family
My real birth family
All you could see
was that I was bad
even worse than that, made to look like I was “mad”
These people were not really mine
Did you know the real reason why?
that I used to sit in my room for days
Trying to intermingle with my “new family”
but I just could never fit in
So I would sit in my room and pine
for my real family
I used to visualise street maps
in my head

Which way is the way to go HOME
I was confused as I kept being told
that this was MY HOME
But my family was never there
Did you even care?

Maybe you did
maybe you didn’t I dunno
where do I go
The pieces of the puzzle
Where was my Mother and my Grandmother?
Why can’t I go HOME?

You called me all those nasty names
Do you know
how that made me feel
I was just a bereaved little kid
who wanted to her mum
But mum was never there

It’s like she was dead
but came alive every so often
I want my mum
but now it is too late
because I am still that kid

deep down inside of my head

A mother myself now
I’m still haunted by these ghosts
I want my mum to sit and hug me
just like I sit and hug my kids
I never want them to feel
the same way inside.

SOMETIMES YOU SHOUTED AT ME, MADE ME FEEL WORTHLESS. OH FOSTER PARENTS
A.K.A MUM AND DAD YOU HIT ME TOO. YOU SCARED ME LOTS…… I TOLD ON
YOU TO MY SOCIAL WORKER BUT I WAS STILL LEFT IN YOUR HOUSE-IN YOUR
CARE.
WHY DO YOU COVER UP THE OTHER STUFF YOUR SON DID?

By Mel

~

WHO WILL STAND UP FOR OUR CHILDREN
Who will stand up for our children – Speak up when they can’t
Who will stand up for our children – It’s time we all take a stand
So precious and innocent – Showing their love in many ways
Who will stand up for our children – We have to make things right today
…Who will speak for our children – Giving each a full-life
Who will speak for our children – It’s time we do what’s right
Put an end to all the madness – Stiffer laws and prison stays
Who will stand up for our children – When they’re out at play
Who will stand up for our children – They’re tomorrow’s future lot
Who will stand up for our children – All this madness has to stop
Who will stand up for our children – Before it’s too late
Who will stand up for our children – We have to end it in every state
Mary V Williams June’09

~

Outside of the Cyclone
I am free to be me
I don’t have to feel guilty
Or cry myself to sleep

Outside of the Cyclone
I am healed by the warmth of the sun
And the sound of the wind
Through the trees

Outside of the Cyclone
I can breathe freely
Not bracing for
The worst to come

Outside of the Cyclone
I can laugh and love
I can breathe and be
Mostly I can simply be free

JMV